Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Women and their Cheese

Why is it that women love cheese so much? It is just a lump of salted fat from the milk of some mammal... but every woman I know loves cheese! Even the skinny ones! We go out to dinner, and the skinny girls devour goat cheese like it is the last day on earth. As I sit here and type, I have images of my friends eating cheese. They start longingly at it, knowing that they should not, dare not, eat it. Five minutes later, they have maneuvered closer to that tempting chunk and their pupils dilate as they imagine biting into the soft, salty slice of heaven. The next time I look, the cheese is in hand, and they are chewing contentedly while sort of looking lovingly at their little trophy.

The funny thing is... I used to think no one noticed.

I went out to the bar one night and resisted the temptation to soak up my alcohol infused stomach with a late night trip to White Castle. But upon arriving home, my stomach grumbled... I guess a night of dancing like Beyonce will do that to you. As I did the open door fridge scan, my eyes lit upon slices of American cheese in their own wrapper. The heavens opened and angels began to sing. And I went to bed with a satisfied belly.

The next day, I felt proud that I didn't eat an extra value meal and settled on a slice of Kraft. That is, until my friend's older brother was like, "Don't think I didn't see you last night, searching the fridge for cheese." Busted.


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