"It will get easier," "Pretty soon you won't even think about it anymore."
This is what everyone told me nine months ago when I started to go back to work after having Ava. I still remember walking into the babysitter's house, her taking a look at me and asking, "Are you ok?" and me taking a deep breath trying to calm myself and bursting into tears. I had a meeting that morning as soon as I got to work. Everyone was excited to see me... was happy that I was back, but my friend took one look at me and ran over to give me a hug as I stood there with tears streaming down my face, silently sobbing.
And everyone was right. It got easier, but everyday around lunch I start to miss my little girl. Too bad the workday can't be a half day everyday... the summer came, and I am lucky enough to have two months off before having to go back to work. But those two months mean that I have to go through that adjustment period all over again.
Most days I am fine. I know Ava loves going to daycare, she doesn't cry when I leave, and she really enjoys playing with her little friend. I feel fortunate that she is in a daycare where it is just her and another little girl just 4 months older than she.
But today, for the first time, after I set her down and she toddled away, she looked back at me and toddled right back for a little hug. It melted my heart and just sort of socked me in the chest, thinking about how big she is getting, and how much I still hate to leave her.