Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Sometimes it socks you in the chest...

"It will get easier," "Pretty soon you won't even think about it anymore."
This is what everyone told me nine months ago when I started to go back to work after having Ava. I still remember walking into the babysitter's house, her taking a look at me and asking, "Are you ok?" and me taking a deep breath trying to calm myself and bursting into tears. I had a meeting that morning as soon as I got to work. Everyone was excited to see me... was happy that I was back, but my friend took one look at me and ran over to give me a hug as I stood there with tears streaming down my face, silently sobbing.

And everyone was right. It got easier, but everyday around lunch I start to miss my little girl. Too bad the workday can't be a half day everyday... the summer came, and I am lucky enough to have two months off before having to go back to work. But those two months mean that I have to go through that adjustment period all over again.

Most days I am fine. I know Ava loves going to daycare, she doesn't cry when I leave, and she really enjoys playing with her little friend. I feel fortunate that she is in a daycare where it is just her and another little girl just 4 months older than she.

But today, for the first time, after I set her down and she toddled away, she looked back at me and toddled right back for a little hug. It melted my heart and just sort of socked me in the chest, thinking about how big she is getting, and how much I still hate to leave her.

Bathtime Fun


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